By Ibrahim Kegbegbe
Only in Nigerian football can you score two goals in a match and still not win. On Tuesday night in Bloemfontein, the Super Eagles treated us to an unforgettable riddle wrapped in a jersey: How do you beat yourself and still expect to qualify for the World Cup?
Captain William Troost-Ekong opened the scoring—unfortunately, he was auditioning for South Africa at the time. Not to worry, Calvin Bassey decided to balance the account by scoring for the right employer. Two goals, both proudly made in Nigeria, yet the result was 1-1. South Africa must be wondering why they even bothered changing into kit.
This, dear reader, is not football—it is charity work in disguise. The Super Eagles have now become the United Nations of football, distributing goals to whoever needs them. Why wait for opponents to trouble your goalkeeper when you can score for them yourself?
And as if to crown the comedy, this 1-1 draw has complicated Nigeria’s road to the 2026 World Cup. The Eagles are now flying in circles, like chickens auditioning for airline pilots. Nigerians are left scratching their heads: Are we playing qualifiers or rehearsals for a Nollywood tragedy?
The irony bites deeper than suya pepper: we do the hard part, create the goals, and then donate half of them to the opposition. If this continues, perhaps NFF should rename the team The Super Philanthropists. At least that would be honest.
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But beyond the laughter, the consequences are serious. World Cup dreams are slipping away, and with each misfired chance and misguided clearance, hope is evaporating faster than petrol in a Lagos jerrycan.
Football is supposed to be simple—kick the ball into the opponent’s net, not yours. Yet the Eagles have turned it into advanced mathematics: two Nigerians score, but Nigeria doesn’t win. Somebody should call a prophet, because logic has clearly checked out.
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For now, Nigerians must brace themselves. Qualification is still technically possible, but only if the Eagles stop playing against themselves. Until then, South Africa can thank us for their free gift, while we keep pretending this isn’t the most sarcastic joke FIFA has ever hosted.