By Ibrahim Kegbegbe
In a society where a woman’s worth is often measured by her marital status and ability to bear children, Toke Makinwa’s candid statement about turning 40, being single, and childless strikes a chord with many. “To be completely honest, if I had gotten married again, I would be divorced again because the lessons never stop,” she said, reflecting on her personal growth and evolving perspective on relationships.
Toke Makinwa, a prominent Nigerian media personality, entrepreneur, and author, has never shied away from discussing her experiences with love, heartbreak, and self-discovery. Her statement is more than just a personal confession; it echoes the sentiments of many women who find themselves at a crossroads—torn between societal expectations and the pursuit of personal happiness.
The Pressure of Marriage and Motherhood
In Nigeria and many parts of Africa, marriage and motherhood are often seen as the ultimate achievements for women. Family members, friends, and even strangers impose unsolicited advice on single women, urging them to settle down before “time runs out.” But Makinwa’s perspective challenges this traditional narrative.
“I have learned that marriage is not a reward, neither is being single a punishment,” she once said in an interview. Her statement underscores the reality that relationships require maturity, understanding, and compatibility—qualities that cannot be rushed or forced.
Lessons from Her Past
Makinwa’s first marriage to fitness expert Maje Ayida ended in a highly publicized divorce in 2017. She has been vocal about the betrayal and pain that led to the end of their union, but rather than wallow in regret, she chose to grow from the experience. “The lessons never stop,” she stated, hinting at the continuous journey of self-improvement that life demands.
Her resilience has inspired many women to redefine success beyond societal norms. Instead of measuring their worth by marital status, they are encouraged to focus on personal achievements, career growth, and emotional well-being.
A Changing Narrative?
Although the pressure on women remains high, narratives around singlehood are gradually shifting. More women are embracing their independence and refusing to settle for relationships that do not serve their emotional and mental well-being.
Makinwa’s openness about her journey is a reminder that fulfillment comes in different forms. While marriage and children may be part of some people’s life goals, they are not the only markers of a successful life.
Toke Makinwa’s statement is not just a personal reflection; it is a conversation starter. It challenges the rigid societal expectations placed on women and advocates for the right to choose one’s path. Whether married or single, with children or without, happiness should be the ultimate goal.
As more women find the courage to live life on their own terms, one thing is certain: the lessons never stop, and neither does the journey to self-discovery.
