In recent years, a growing trend among Nigerian men is sparking heated debates across social circles: the increasing reluctance of godly and serious-minded men to date Nigerian women. This shift, driven by grievances over materialistic tendencies, is not only reshaping dating dynamics but also leading many women into the arms of unscrupulous men, including fraudsters, ritualists, and kidnappers.
Several men spoke with a correspondent of The Merit Newspaper about their frustrations, claiming that some Nigerian women’s behavior makes dating feel transactional rather than emotional. One common complaint is the demand for financial support shortly after a relationship begins.
“Imagine proposing to a lady today, and by the next day, she’s asking for ₦2,000 because she hasn’t eaten or needs gas for her cooking stove,” lamented Semiu Ayinde, a Lagos-based entrepreneur.
Other men described similar experiences. Many women reportedly ask for money to purchase wigs, buy food for their family homes, or cover other personal expenses—even before the relationship progresses to a serious stage. According to critics, such demands give the impression that relationships are based solely on financial gain.
The issue doesn’t stop there. Dating etiquette has also come under scrutiny, with men claiming that some women refuse to show up for dates unless they are sent transportation money in advance. “She won’t meet you unless you send her transport fare,” said David Okon, a software engineer. “This attitude makes it feel like they are being paid for their time.”
These behaviors, critics argue, are driving genuine and serious-minded men away. Many now avoid pursuing relationships altogether or seek partners outside such circles. However, the consequences of this trend go beyond broken relationships.
Experts warn that women who prioritize material gain over genuine connections are inadvertently exposing themselves to danger. Fraudsters, ritualists, and kidnappers often lure women with flashy lifestyles and promises of easy money, only to exploit them. Several recent cases of young women falling victim to such schemes have made headlines, raising concerns about societal pressures and misplaced priorities in dating culture.
Relationship counselor Yetunde Adeniji weighed in on the issue, stating, “While there’s nothing wrong with a man providing support for his partner, relationships should be built on mutual respect and understanding, not exploitation. Unfortunately, the desperation for financial support has pushed some women into the arms of dangerous individuals.”
Critics have also called for introspection among Nigerian men, urging them to address the root causes of this dating crisis rather than placing the blame solely on women. Some men have been accused of creating the precedent by using money as a tool to impress or control women, perpetuating the belief that relationships must be financially driven.
As the debate continues, the question remains: how can Nigerian society restore balance to its dating culture? Both men and women must reflect on their roles in fostering healthier, more meaningful relationships. Until then, the consequences of materialism in dating may continue to expose vulnerable individuals to untold risks.
This controversy underscores the urgent need for dialogue about modern dating expectations in Nigeria and how to navigate relationships in an era of economic challenges and shifting cultural values.
